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Everyday Struggles by Anita Carr

Every day is different.  Some things you are in control of, and some things you are not.  You can choose to wake up earlier and go for a walk if you know that gives your morning a kickstart.  You can choose to be grateful for 3 things before you get out of bed to create awareness of the good things in your life. 

You can take your vitamins, go to bed early, exercise, say your affirmations and drink green juices til the cows come home, but some days none of it works.  Because as a Mum, you’re not only looking after your own needs and wants, you’re also responsible for the little people in your lives and their own needs, wants and big feelings.  So if they wake up grumpy, it’s kinda hard to keep your mojo up, even after your morning journaling and drinking a litre of kombucha!!

EVERY DAY is hard.  It sometimes feels like groundhog day and you think,  is this it? Is this my life? Other days, things actually go smoothly and you have a really good day without losing the plot and you want to high five yourself for doing such a fab job!  Then there are those days when sh*t hits the fan (literally!) and you know you might as well just give in to the fact that today is going to be a bad day.

I have had my fair share of all of these days.  I’ve tried to hold it all together externally so that no one can see that you’re struggling, because you know that everyone has their own ‘stuff’ to deal with.  You just keep going because you have to.  You somehow find the strength and the energy to pull through day after day. 

You don’t bother to ask for help because again, everyone has their load to carry and you don’t want to burden anyone and there are so many other people that have it way worse than you, so you shouldn’t complain.

The thing is, none of this way of thinking is helping anyone, especially yourself.  YOUR struggles are REAL.  Only you are walking in your shoes and you are ALLOWED to feel low, grumpy or alone.  I’ve realised that the more open you are talking about your struggles with others, the more it enables them to feel comfortable to voice theirs.  And the simple act of talking honestly about how you are coping in life really lifts some of that weight off the load you are carrying, not only for yourself but for others too.

So my advice to you is to just manage the day.  That particular day, and that day only.  If it’s one of those crappy days, roll with it.  Allow yourself to accept it’s one of those days.  Allow yourself to feel sad or angry about it.  It’s ok to feel that way.  It’s actually totally normal to feel that way.  And do something kind for yourself that day too.  It can be as small as having a cup of tea outside or getting Uber Eats for lunch to going and getting a pedicure or seeing a movie by yourself.  Accept it’s a crap day and be kind to yourself about it.  Don’t beat yourself up, it’s not your fault.

If it feels like Groundhog Day, do something about it. Go do something random and spontaneous.  Go for a drive with the kids.  Stock up on snacks and just drive.  Drive somewhere you’ve never been before.  Don’t use a map, wing it.  Find a random park or shop you’ve never been to, and go check it out.  Who knows, you could find your new favourite coffee shop, have a great conversation with another Mum at the park or just renew your spirit for the day.

And if you have one of those days where you are winning at life, celebrate it!  As Mum’s we do not celebrate our wins anywhere near enough.  Make a big deal about it.  Congratulate yourself.  Treat yourself.  Call and tell a friend, your parents, your partner that you’re having a great day juggling this Mum business.  Because throwing those words out there into the universe makes them real.  It makes them valid. 

Whether it’s speaking about your struggles or your wins, just letting those words spill out is what’s key.  Because those words hold all the power.  The power to own your feelings, release them and let them be free.

Anita x